26 Apr

Who is number 1???

I am a racer, and I’m also a winner. I am very confident that I will beat you, because I’m the only one who knows we’re racing! That’s right, you and I may have raced in the past, and you didn’t even know it. And you know what else? You lost. What do you mean it’s not fair? You didn’t even know you were a loser until I told you just now. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

I know what will make you feel better- I will tell you a story about when I was the loser. I have a day job, and it’s in an office building, nothing special. I am an early riser. Due to my extreme paranoia about being late, I leave the house an hour before I need to start work. My commute is about 40 minutes, so that gives me 20 minutes of wiggle room.

Because I’m a racer, I want to be the first car in the parking lot. Well, I’ll be damned if this little yellow car didn’t beat me every single day! I’d turn pull around the building- and BANG! Like a bright light shining right in my face, there was that yellow car. Maybe that guy sleeps here or something, I don’t know, but I can’t beat him. Actually, I don’t even know if he is a him because I never even see him.

Gaze upon the emptiness

Then a miracle happened- I pulled into the parking lot, drove around to the back, and there was no yellow car. I WON!! I WON!!! But my victory was short lived. I left the building at noon… no yellow car. Hmmm, yellow car must have the day off, maybe he is on vacation. Scratch that victory for today, tomorrow we shall race again. Then the next day… no yellow car. Repeat this result for a week, then two weeks, a month, and I finally had to face the facts. It seems that Mr. Yellow Car no longer comes here. You can’t beat the yellow car if the yellow car isn’t going to the same place.

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