Archive | April, 2012


26 Apr

Who is number 1???

I am a racer, and I’m also a winner. I am very confident that I will beat you, because I’m the only one who knows we’re racing! That’s right, you and I may have raced in the past, and you didn’t even know it. And you know what else? You lost. What do you mean it’s not fair? You didn’t even know you were a loser until I told you just now. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

I know what will make you feel better- I will tell you a story about when I was the loser. I have a day job, and it’s in an office building, nothing special. I am an early riser. Due to my extreme paranoia about being late, I leave the house an hour before I need to start work. My commute is about 40 minutes, so that gives me 20 minutes of wiggle room.

Because I’m a racer, I want to be the first car in the parking lot. Well, I’ll be damned if this little yellow car didn’t beat me every single day! I’d turn pull around the building- and BANG! Like a bright light shining right in my face, there was that yellow car. Maybe that guy sleeps here or something, I don’t know, but I can’t beat him. Actually, I don’t even know if he is a him because I never even see him.

Gaze upon the emptiness

Then a miracle happened- I pulled into the parking lot, drove around to the back, and there was no yellow car. I WON!! I WON!!! But my victory was short lived. I left the building at noon… no yellow car. Hmmm, yellow car must have the day off, maybe he is on vacation. Scratch that victory for today, tomorrow we shall race again. Then the next day… no yellow car. Repeat this result for a week, then two weeks, a month, and I finally had to face the facts. It seems that Mr. Yellow Car no longer comes here. You can’t beat the yellow car if the yellow car isn’t going to the same place.

Apologies in Advance for My Sense of Humor

18 Apr

We are a Volkswagen household, currently we both drive Passats, and we’re lovin’ it. Even though I’m over six feet tall, something in my soul has always been longing for a VW Beetle. It’s a bit against my nature, because I like to be anonymous when possible. A beetle is kind of a noticeable car- what with all the kids yelling “SLUG BUG!” or whatever the kids are doing. Is that what the kids are doing? I have no idea.

Anyway, I digress, the point is that I want a beetle. It looks like this car has been recently redesigned, and it’s a more stretched-out version than the high-top little one I’m used to seeing around town. And here is my favorite part yet, now they make it in BROWN. They’re officially calling it toffee, you can call it coffee, whatever floats your boat. They used to be all cute candy colors plus black and white. Not that that’s not great n’all, but the second half of my wanting a beetle is wanting a brown one… and then calling it the dung beetle. The end.

A Cuban is Stalking Me

17 Apr

Feel free to gaze upon my flank steak

And his name is Cuban Flank Steak. He’s filling up my inbox, he’s invading my brain, he threw himself on my table and declared, “Eat me!!” and I did.

Have you heard of Pinterest? If you haven’t I’m evicting you from that rock you’re livin’ under, and dragging you kicking and screaming into 2012. I feel like a drug pusher right now. “The first one is free,” and all that after school special crap. Do they even have after school specials anymore? Omg, I’m all over the place, that is a topic for another day. Right now I’m talking Pinterest and how you need it in your life. You thought youtube was a time sucker? Well, you haven’t met Pinterest, my friend! It really is internet crack. My name is Tina, and I’m addicted to internet crack.

Once upon a time I pinned a recipe called Cuban Flank Steak, it’s from Kalyn’s Kitchen, which has a lot of fantastic recipes by the way. Once you pin something, other pinners can re-pin it. When they do, Pinterest sends you an email. Well, it seems that flank steak is really popular with pinners, because my inbox looks like this: Cuban flank steak, Cuban flank steak, Cuban flank steak, Cuban flank steak… you get the idea. I mean, it looked good to begin with, which is why I pinned it. But now it’s stalking me, and I had to try the recipe- it was fabulous. It was my first introduction to flank steak, and the most patient husband in the world grilled it up for us.

I bought a two-pack of them at Costco, so you know I had to make a second flank steak recipe. The photo above is actually Asian Flank Steak, and if you tell Cuban flank steak that I’m cheating on him with Asian flank steak, all hell will break loose. Do not even think about it! Um, hello, I can tell you’re still thinking about it. Here is a secret… I actually liked the Asian version better. Asian flank steak is marinating in my fridge right now. BEEF, it’s what for dinner!

p.s. The rice and green beans shown in the photo are from Skinny Taste, check them out if you’re feelin’ hungry or curious- or both!

I Hate to Exercise

16 Apr

Mystery flower #1, not sure what this is, but it smells lovely.

That’s right, hate is a strong word- and I’m using it. And here’s another shocking statement- I’m a fatty. I bet you never expected someone who hates to exercise to be a chubster- right? Oh, you weren’t surprised? Well then, okay, I see how it is. Fair enough, the score is as follows: you 1, me 0.

I was begrudgingly taking a walk in the park today with the Trixter and the most patient husband in the world. Of course I was bitching all the way. Well, not alllll the way, because once we get half way done, then the exercise is at least half over. That’s when I start to perk up and get excited about getting back to the car. My absolute favorite part of exercising is that getting back to the car part. That means the exercise is OVER and I have at least 23 hours of exercise-free living ahead of me. Bliss!!! One of my favorite hobbies is sitting- seriously- I am a champion sitter. I can out-sit you any day- do not test me on this.

While we were walking, I was trying to think of things I hate more than exercising. I could only come up with extreme forms of punishment. Being burned at the stake would suck, but at least you’d be tied to the stake and could relax a bit. Being stretched on the rack would also suck. But again, you’d be able to lie down. It probably isn’t even so bad until they get to the tearing you limb from limb part. The most terrible one I could think up is probably having to sit (the sitting isn’t the problem) and listen to Nickelback’s entire catalog. Oh, you like Nickelback? Well, I didn’t mean to offend… but let’s just say you and I won’t be taking any road trips together.

Mystery flower #2

Ok,I think I’m done complaining. Now that that’s out of my system, I can tell you about the nice things that happened on this half-hearted attempt at fitness. The parks here are really nice, and the humidity hasn’t hit yet, so the weather was fantastic. The path is surrounded by tall trees, and we got to stay out of the sun. If you know me, you know I like to maintain my ghostly pallor year-round. If you don’t know me, look for the whitest white person in the room- that’ll be me. There are several bat boxes up in the trees too. They’re marked with this batman symbol because everyone knows bats can’t read English. How else would they know to live there?! Duh.

Heeeeeere batty batty batty!

The spring flowers are blooming, and the breeze was carrying their scent. I’m not familiar with all the plants here, but I am pretty sure this one is a type of honeysuckle. It’s much larger than our honeysuckle up north, so I may be wrong, feel free to correct me. It was sprinkled throughout the park, and unlike in my home state of Ohio, honeysuckle is native to Georgia.

Mystery flower number 3 - honeysuckle?

Dang, I’m looking at all these photos and thinking what a nice walk that was. I lovely little 3-mile stroll though the park on a breezy spring day. Ahhhhhhhhh. Wait a minute, who am I kidding? I still hated it! 😉

Not that I think you haven’t seen this, but just in case…

12 Apr

I am completely smitten with Caine!

If you haven’t heard about Caine’s Arcade, (and how could you not?!) please go watch the video right now! That’s right, don’t even finish reading this blog post. Go now- I’ll wait. Why are you still here you stubborn old goat!? GO! Go now!

Did you watch it? Ok then, now tell me you’re not at least a little bit overwhelmed by the outpouring of awesomeness. If you’re not, then you might be a robot. What’s that? You say you’re not a robot? Silly robot! That’s what you’ve been programmed to think!

Seriously though, I’m not even that much of a softy and I’m all verklempt. If you think you can’t change the world- you’re right. You can’t. BUT! And this is the big but, you can make someone’s day. And if you can make someone’s day, you could very possibly make an impact on their life. And if each of us did that a little bit more often, the world would change all on its own.

This act of kindness from a stranger started off with just one guy playing a cardboard arcade. And that one man, plus the power of the internet, has made a huge impact. And I’m not just talking about Caine, though he is the obvious beneficiary of this cyber-support. No way could Nirvan have known that THIS would be the result. No way could he have known that he’d get zillions of people thinking about taking the time to be nice.

Here is the other thing I love- that we are able to put a few bucks directly in the pocket of real people. Not that you’re not helping real people when you donate your time and/or money to organizations. But I am disappointed when I feel that the money I have given is being used to solicit me, and sometimes outright pester me, for more money. I don’t want to just feed it to a fund raising machine. I’d rather use it to buy fun passes.

Thank you George Monroy, for never telling your son he was using up all your tape. Excuse me, I have to go now. I think my keyboard is about to be ruined by water. The water from this little boy melting my cold, cold heart.


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